Prague, Czech Republic

Didn't sleep well at all last night. Went to bed at nearly 3am, woke up before 8.

It occurred to me that I was being hasty in judging this place, based on but a few hours here, but hasty is what I am. So what if I am not taking the time to see the charm? I only have a few days, don't want to waste any more of them trying to like something I hate.

Went down to reception to see if they had any luck securing me a room at the pension. Kelly (the nice receptionist from last night) was there again, but hadn't been able to get in touch with the old lady who ran the pension yet.

"Probably still asleep," she said in a chipper, North American accent, "why don't you go downstairs and have some breakfast? By the time you finish, I will have an answer for you."

Ok, fine. Not like I had any plans for 8:30 in the morning anyway. I'll go downstairs and make nice with the other patrons.

"Downstairs" as it turned out, was a cellar. Well, a cellar with benches and chairs. There was a breakfast buffet for 80 kc ($1 CAD = 20 kc approx.), but I just opted for coffee.

I sat down near two people, who were in the middle of a conversation. I recognized one of them as the night reception guy and the other one was another night owl, who stalked in the door of the hostel, a little after midnight last night. Both stopped talking when I plopped my ass down on the couch.

The receptionist didn't have too much to say to me, but the other guy, Alan, and I got to talking. Turns out he's mixed Japanese and American, so when I told him I'd lived in Tokyo for a bit, he instantly warmed to me. For nearly an hour we talked, while the other guy sat quietly, blinking now and then. I'd just usurped his spot in the conversation.

I went back up to see Kelly. "Good news and bad news." she said. I fucking hate it when people say that. "Good news is, I got you a room. Bad news, you don't get it til tomorrow. Bad news again, you have to changes rooms tonight." Ah well, at least the end is in sight.

I asked her how to get into the city and she drew out paths with a red marker on a map for me. Any one of three trams will take me into the city center in about 15 minutes.

"Don't worry, they call out the names of the stops." she said.

"In Czech? Great." I said, "Say, how safe is it here?"

"Oh, well there's not too much physical violence here."

Well, that's reassuring. Armed with my pocket map and little red lines, I marched out the door confidently.

Journey into the city

The public transportation system here is almost identical to Berlin's, so I didn't have to waste 15 minutes watching people on the sly to figure out how it worked (like I did in Berlin). You buy your ticket, then have it validated via machine on the tram itself.

On the 3 Tram, I noticed that the stops are farther in between than I would think streetcar stops should be and the routes twist and wind, every which way.

I am on my way to Wenceslas Square, in Old Town Prague. Kelly assured me that it was easy to find, since it's a big open square. I was counting out the stops, when some I caught some movement out of the corner of my eye.

I saw a funny-looking dog on the sidewalk, and even after we had turned the corner, my mind was still on the dog. When I finally snapped out of it, I had lost count of how many stops we had passed - plus I had no idea if we had passed a big square or not.

Ended up getting off a little past where I should have disembarked. Stupid dog.

Hopped on the subway nearby and got off at Mustek station.

Down the hill

Getting off at Mustek station, you are at the top of a hill. Also at the top is the national museum, at the bottom is Muzeum station and the entrance to the Old Town Square. In between is a strip of touristy crap, unparallelled (street's called Vaclavske, in the heart of the Stare Mesto area). Well, that's not true, but I do liken it to the bit of Yonge St. between Dundas and College back home. Just stores selling your standard tourist melange of t-shirts, off-colour postcards and trinkets.

There's a food stand about every 15 meters, on either side of the road. This is where I had my brunch of sausage, mustard and Czech bread (30 kc). They give it to you on a little piece of paper and you have to eat it at one of the tables near the stand, because if you try to walk and eat at the same time, everything slides off the edges of the paper and you get mustard all over you.

Today was also my first time having mulled wine (20 kc). Sounded interesting and lots of people were drinking it, so I stepped in line and waiting my turn for a steaming hot cup of wine, in a plastic cup. You have to put a little sugar into it (they are using really cheap wine to make this) and drink it fast - lest more plastic melt into the drink.

I finished mine before I got to the bottom of the hill.

Wenceslas Square (Old Town Square)

My sister was telling me about this place. Wenceslas Square, also known as the Old Town Square. There's an astronomical clock (below), as you enter from the tourist strip. Built way back in medival times, the things still runs.

I hear that every hour, on the hour, between 9am and 9pm (or something like that), there's a little show that goes on, where little clockwork people come out and spin around. As you can see, I've just missed the show by about 10 minutes. Eh, I'll catch it the next time round.

I'm on my second mulled wine of the day and it's keeping me warm. What I said earlier about being impervious to cold, apparently only applies when I am walking.

The moment I stop and sit down, my powers go away. But this miracle drink is the yellow sun to my Superman. Along with the wine (which is 5kc more expensive in the square, but much better than on Vaclavske), I am eating a trdlo. No idea how to pronounce it, but it looks like it could do with a few more vowels.

So, this trdlo is a pastry that's made by wrapping dough around a roller a few times, then spinning the roller over a fire. Brush some butter and sprinkle a sugar/almond mix on it and voila: simple and good.

As I look around me, the benches are spotted with people. I'd imagine in the summer, you'd be competing with the pigeons for a space to stand. I'm happy that I decided to come in the late autumn, as the crowds are smaller and it's chilly enough for me to drink svarak (mulled wine).

Franz Kafka and Eddie Murphy

Franz Kafka

Eddie Murphy

Charles Bridge

If you want to get to Lesser Town (where Prague Castle is), you have to cross the Charles Bridge. Of course, there are other ways to get across, but this is the most scenic way.

So tell me this: why is it that the level of good scenery is always positively correlated to the propensity of having my pocket picked by gypsies? One of those mysteries of Life I suppose we were never meant to understand.

All along the bridge are statues, commemorating some aspect of Catholicism. Amongst all the buskers and people selling trinkets, I saw one particular statue that people were lining up to touch. As I got closer, I saw what it was. Not knowing what was going on, I just reached out and touched it as well, you know, to blend in with the locals. It was obviously one of those things like the Blarney Stone that you're supposed to touch (or kiss, while hanging upside down off a cliff) for luck.

It's the dog you're supposed to touch for good luck, though some people believe it's the other one (due to another variation of the story, which I won't share because I'm too lazy to type it out). Here's the story (as well as I can remember it):

One of the Prague kings suspected his wife of cheating on him, or doing something devious behind his back, as bored queens are sometimes wont to do. But no matter what he tried, he couldn't get anything out of her, so he decided to have her executed. Just prior to the execution, his wife confessed to a Catholic priest.

The king went to this priest after the execution to find out what his wife had confessed, but the priest wouldn't tell, claiming that the queen's confessions were for God and God alone. Angered, the king locked up and tortured the priest until one day, the priest cracked and said, "I whispered her confession to my best friend."

Turns out his best friend was his dog.

I'm not sure why this makes the plaque of the dog good luck, but there you have it.

Lesser Town

As I walked to the other end of the bridge, I caught a glimpse of Lesser Town and Prague Castle. Narrow, cobble stone streets, pointy spires and colourful buildings made me sprint to the end of the bridge.

There were so many things I wanted to see today, but only glossed over. My mental note pad was chock full of notes, indicating places to come back to and look over in more detail.

I keep trying to picture this place hundreds of years ago. I know the buildings are all the same, but it must have looked even more impressive without all the red and blue flags advertising cheap internet access and souvenirs.

Times change, I guess, but it's not always for the better.

Prasky Hrad (Prague Castle)

Prague Castle is at the top of the hill. People recommend you take the cable car or the subway up there, but that's because they're weak. I walked up the narrow streets, having to occasionally press myself flat against buildings so that transport trucks could roll by, in the bitter chill for 30 minutes. Wouldn't want to brave these streets in the icy winter.

When I got to the top, I wasn't disappointed at all.

There was no castle that I could see (I would later find out from a guide that there is no castle, quite the misnomer), but I did see the changing of the guard (done on the hour) and went inside St. Vitus' Cathedral. You're not supposed to take photos, but when a Chinese person hears that, it just means turn off your flash.

Heading home

Got offered speed, as I was walking through Wenceslas Square, back to Mustek Station. How do you like that? The guy walked right past a group of tourists and locals, sidled up to me and muttered, "Hey man, speed? Want some speed?" This is just great. Exactly the kind of attention I want to attract.

I noticed the abundance of maintenance people they have on the streets here, sweeping up every fallen leaf and cigarette butt within reach of their brooms. It's weird, I always thought of European streets as being filthy, but I guess they've cleaned up their act since the 1700's.

Grabbed a hotdog with some hot peppers, along with another mulled wine for dinner, then hopped the subway home.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

I got up to my room and found that the outer door (which is usually unlocked), was locked. I tramped back down the reception and had a small argument with the guy about this. I kept insisting that the door was locked, he kept insisting that I was using the wrong key. I was this close to leaning over the counter, grabbing his collar and dragging him up 4 flights of stairs to show him.

Just as I was about to launch into some profanity, a lightbulb switched on in his head and he said, "Oh yeah! Sorry. You were supposed to move to another room today. Didn't you move from your old room yet?"

If I'd moved, do you think I would be standing here, telling you I can't get into my old room, you fucking dirty ape? Anyway, it got straightened out pretty quickly. The door was locked because my luggage was still in my old room and they didn't want the new people going in yet.

I got another room, a floor up, but this one had a balcony, which was kinda nice.

I was still a little pissed off at the moron at reception (though to be fair, it was an honest mistake on his part and he did apologize multiple times), so I went for a drink.

The local drinking establishment

The bartender told me that this is traditional Czech pub food. Cheese in chili oil with a hot pepper, heavy Czech bread and, of course, Czech beer. Certainly not good for the gut, this late at night, but great for the spirit.

If you had told me a few years ago, that I'd one day find myself alone in a dimly-lit Czech pub, I would have told you to get a new crystal ball. But here I am.

The people in the pub gave me weird looks as I walked in and plunked myself down at a table, in the corner. I wasn't expecting to talk to anyone that night, but I suppose I was just the right combination of strange and non-threatening to attract some friendly attention.

Met some interesting characters at the pub. Some locals, but most notably, an American. The guy's name was Ford (only an American would be named after the plant his dad worked at) and was ex-military, now in law school.

We had an interesting chat on how Canadian and American law differed, our views on the death penalty and how hot the women were here.