October 29th, 2001. Brian discovers Japanese infomercials.

Question: What would life be without infomercials?

Answer: A whole lot less annoying.

Most people feel this way about the North American phenomenon of the extended consumer information program. But there are some of us out there who actually appreciate the infomercial. It is as entertaining as any show you will find on television, but at the end of this show, you will know a heck of a lot more about a consumer product than before. How many shows out there now can claim to be both educational, entertaining and fuel the economy, all accomplished in a 3 am time slot? Not very many.

I love infomercials. I watch them over and over again, until I can lip sync to them. Anyway, imagine my joy when I flipped on channel 6 and saw these! It was incredible, I can't describe the feeling.

I supose that the closest thing to it would be finding yourself stranded on Gilligan's Island, and then realizing that if you hooked two coconut shells together with a piece of grass, you could read your email. A little taste of home in a foreign land is nothing to be underestimated.


These are exactly the same as the ones back home, except I can't understand what they are saying. Everything from the fake reaction from the crowd, to the physical layout of infomercial set.

It didn't take me long to figure out what they were trying to sell. It's a handheld vaccuum of some sort. Apparently, it is good at sucking up liquid. But then again, so is any other kind of vaccuum, paper towel or old rag.

The only thing they are missing is an annoying British person. Any self-respecting script writer for infomercials would include an annoying British person, who is easily excited. When was the last time you saw someone get hyped up about chopping veggies? Look to the Rocket Chef. The British host there wore a geeky bow tie and everything. It was great.

Ah, the product shot. It's important to show the product to the viewing audience, otherwise, they would think that this is a regular news broadcast. Yes, informericals are that realistic. It's a wonder that CNN hasn't sued yet.

The Ronco Showtime Rotisserie BBQ makes a big deal about the box it comes in. In Ron's exact words, "If you buy this in the stores, it comes in a fancy box and you pay a fancy price. " Good quote, Ron. It cracks me up every time I hear it.

So, it's the Super Vacuum. Wait a minute, isn't "vacuum" spelled with two c's, like V-A-C-C-U-U-M? At least Ron's boxes had the correct spelling on them.

What is an infomercial without the fake crowd? You need people cheering you on, no matter what you are doing. Look at how happy these people are. And over what? The Super Vacuum.

If you had just tuned in at this point, you might have thought that Ichiro had hit a grand slam or something. But nope, the Super Vacuum just sucked up some black stuff. Woo.

This has nothing to do with infomercials, but I wanted to show off the new spices I bought. These are the first bottles of salt, pepper and spicy stuff I have ever bought for myself. This is a land mark occasion. Look daddy, your little boy is all grown up now. *sniff*

The salt is my favourite of the three. It makes me feel good while I cook, just like it promises on the label. I love the Japanese. They are so honest.