Guess what this is. Go on, guess. It's corn soup that I bought from a vending machine. And it was hot. What's more, I actually liked it. It tastes just like Del Monte's cream of corn. I think that my next adventure will be the potato soup they had in the slot next to it.

It was pouring rain today, so the air had this damp chill about it. It was terrible. The hot soup made me feel better though. You are probably wondering why on Earth I would want to drink soup from a can, but let me tell you, when you are freezing your butt off in the middle of a downpour, any sort of hot liquid looks appealing.

My name is Brian and I steal umbrellas. It has been 4 hours since my last slip. Admitting that you have a problem is the first step.

Well, I don't really see it as stealing, per se, it's more like increasing. See, I started the day with only one umbrella, and now I have twice as many. That's all.

In Japan, stores put out umbrella racks for people, so that they won't take soaking wet umbrellas into the store and drip all over the merchandise. This particular store was empty, but the rack was full. So I helped myself. It's a victimless crime...like punching someone in the dark.

I left my umbrella at home cuz I didn't see anybody on the street with one. This is how I figure out what to wear that day, since I can't understand the weather reports.

Yeah, it's pathetic, but what else can I do? I don't really feel all that badly about taking it either, as it seems to be accepted practice in Japan. When in Rome...

That being said, I think that I would be pretty cheesed off if some punk made away with my umbrella while I was browsing the wares in some shop. Maybe I'll put it back tomorrow. But probably not.

This is bad. I can feel karma figuring all sorts of ironic ways to get me back. Like the owner of this umbrella ends up catching a cold because he had nothing to protect him from the rain. He turns out to be one of my students, who sneezes on me during a lesson and as a result, I get pneumonia and die.

Man, why do these things always happen to me? Ok, I'm putting it back.