March 7th, 2002. The Astronaut Pen.

I was waiting for Hinnie and M to show last night in Shinjuku, but because of a slight miscommunication (we seem to have alot of those), Hinnie had made other plans and M was late. This left me staring at a big TV screen outside (Studio Alta, just outside Kabuki-Cho) for the better part of the night.

Among the commercials and clips of sexy women in bikinis being shown, was a short about fruit. It sounds like nothing special, but it was one of the most bizzare things I have ever seen here. There was no narration, only music. They'd zoom in for close ups and pan slowly down the length of the fruit. The strawberries were moist with morning dew and the melon slices were long and glistening in the sunlight. It was almost perverse.

Even more bizzare: I've actually read a short story about fruit pornography. I think it's in Breakfast of Champions, by Kurt Vonnegut Jr. One of Kilgore Trout's pieces.

I totally forgot about this. I have an astronaut pen. It writes upside down. Just before I came to Japan, my family and I drove down to DC for a few days. I don't remember exactly which national museum/gallery gift shop I was in (there were so many, it's all a big red, white and blue blur), but it had a decent exhibit about the American Space Program.

I'm not sure who spotted it first, me or my sister, but USD$20 later, I had it in my hands. Is it pathetic that I try to replicate Seinfeld episodes in real life? I don't care. I can doodle in outer space.

Another thing about DC was the fact that it was just teeming with crime. I had no idea. Our family would go visit a mall or something and we'd see it on the news that same night. Be it a murder or a fire or what have you, one of us would be sitting in the hotel room, pointing at the TV saying, "Hey, we were just there today!"

Aside from the space pen and crime, DC was also a great experience for me because it was my first exposure to Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I had heard about them before, but never had a chance to try them (there's now a branch in Mississauga. The bastards waited 'til I left to open up in Canada).

My sister and I drove up to the shop one night, while my parents were recovering in the hotel room from walking around all day. The place was like nothing I'd seen before in my life. Everything from the fact that it was packed at 12am (that doesn't happen back home) to the way people ordered ("Two dozen hot") was cool. And the doughnuts, man the doughnuts. How can I describe to you their beauty?

The sweetest poetry imagined by the most heavenly angels...captured on Earth, in doughnut form. It's enough to make a boy want to go home.

Some of the devout see the likeness of the Holy Mother in sweat stains or shadows, others can indentify Elvis' silhouette in their bag of Fritos. Personally, I am blessed with the gift of finding Disney characters in rice crackers.

Gather 'round, all ye faithful!

There is a common misconception about people who own webcams and/or digicams. People generally assume that you are some sort of demented voyeur, since all shots taken with these cameras can easily be viewed without the aid of a third party (the photo lab). Digital photography carries the stigma of a Polaroid. Of course it's for dirty pictures, what else would you want it for? I believe that this is merely a reflection of the accuser's own morals. They know what they'd do with such a camera, and can't imagine what other uses it could possibly have.

Being an owner of all of these types of cameras, I feel that it is my duty to voice my concern regarding these misconceptions. I do not deny the existence of the twisted few who are cam voyeurs, but they are in the minority. To assume otherwise is like assuming everyone with a pair of binoculars or a telescope is a peeping tom. "That's right dear, I was birdwatching...at night. No, no, there's a really rare species of sparrow in that tree, next to that 16 year old girl's bedroom window. It was a total coincidence that she was undressing..."

That being said, I do admit that it's tempting to take shots that you wouldn't dare take with a conventional camera. I have caved in once or twice and as a result have some bum shots. Click here to see one.