Berlin, Germany

Hitler's Bunker

I know what you're thinking. Why the hell is he posting stupid pictures of his feet? To which I would respond, "It's not a stupid picture of my feet, you dirty gimp, it's a photo of where Hitler's bunker used to be." I saw it on a walking tour of East Berlin. There, not so stupid any more, is it?

Former East Berlin walking tour

The night receptionist's name is Hali (guessing at the spelling here). Very nice, very informative and very easy on the eyes. Still feeling a little disoriented and unsettled, I went to the lounge/reception area and talked to her a bit. I saw that she was on eBay and, chatty person that I am, asked what she was bidding on. Turns out she collects designer furniture from the Bauhaus days. I don't even know what Bauhaus is, but I just nodded and smiled.

I asked Hali for some advice on what I should do during the day and she recommended a walking tour. "It's a great way to see Berlin," she said, "I've been on some of them myself. And if you don't mind walking around for a few hours, you will have lots of fun. "

Sold. That's what I came here to do. Walk around for days on end.

So, bright and early this morning, I came down and awaited the tour guide. He came to collect me at around 9:30am and I followed him to yet another hostel (of the same name as mine) to gather more people.

As we walked through the streets, he casually pointed stuff out and made with the standard getting-to-know-you questions. After about 15 minutes, we arrived at a large open area near Hackescher Markt, where he informed us that he wouldn't be going any further.

The tour was actually led by a British guy named Ben, who's an architect by trade, but somehow ended up leading hapless foreigners around the streets of Berlin.

Our first stop was an old Synagogue, with a dome of gold. Ben summed up about 300 years of Jewish history in Germany for us in under 7 minutes and herded us into what looked like a scrap yard - full of steel letters, each roughly the size of a human being. The letters didn't spell anything that I could understand - which isn't saying much, since I don't understand German.

The old graffiti-covered building at the site used to be an old Jewish shopping mall (sic), but had since been converted to a snooty, German artists' loft. As we walked around, I could see that the anti-American sentiment was strong here.

The Wall

We're right behind the Reichstag (German parlaiment building) and on the ground, we can see a long stretch of cement that is darker than the surrounding cement. This is where the Berlin wall use to run through. 15 years ago, to the left was democracy and freedom and to the right, you'd be eating boiled turnips for dinner.

There are still bits of the Berlin wall left standing, but mostly, you will just see some sort of marker on the ground that people park their cars over now. It's hard to believe that once there was something called the Death Strip (a strip of land just before the wall on the East side, where people trying to escape to the West were shot dead), right where I am standing.

The Reichstag, Brandenburg Gate, Checkpoint Charlie and Gendarmenmarkt

We turned the corner and found ourselves standing in front of the Reichstag. An absolutely glorious building, with none of the megalomania of the Nazis. There was a long line to get into the building, to ascend to the glass dome, at the top of the building. According to Ben, it was a 2-hour wait, so I made a mental note to wake up early one day and beat the rush (this would never happen, but I didn't know it at the time).

Next stop was Brandenburg Gate and a monument to all the slain Jews, during the holocaust (still being built). All these places we just skimmed by. I will try to remember them, so that I can come back later on my own to check them out in more detail.

Apparently, the Queen is in town. There are motorcades going by everywhere, but try as I might, I couldn't see any gloved hands waving slowly at the commoners.

Checkpoint Charlie and Gendarmenmarkt. This was about 3 hours into the tour. There was just such an overload of history and information that I stopped listening and began looking around for skinheads between snap shots of the sights.

Blade Runner

This. Now this is weird. There are pipes like this running all throughout the city. I feel like I'm in Blade Runner or something. We asked the all-knowing Ben about this and he told us that there are two types of pipes that run through the city. Blue ones and red ones. One is for draining or delivering water and the other is for gas. I can't remember which is which.

It would make sense that blue is water and red is gas, but who knows with the crazy Germans?

Bebelplatz

Just before I left for my trip, a co-worker of mine dropped off a German phrase book on my desk, before I came into work. I wrote an email to him in faltering German:

"Danke für das..." but I didn't know the word for book. He responded with, "They don't have a word for book, they tend to burn them all so it's not needed."

And this is where they did it: Bebelplatz.

Unfortunately, the site was under construction when we got there. They were putting in an underground parking lot or something, so we couldn't venture in to see the book burning memorial. I notice that there are a lot of memorials in this city. A sure sign of a dark past.

Lustgarten

As the tour came to a close, I found myself standing next to an architectural monstrosity. I can't remember the name of this place, but it looks like God barfed on the grass, then the Germans piled some bricks around it and called it a church.

Right next to it is Lustgarten (which translates into Pleasure Garden, I think), which is, in my opinion, the best name for a place ever. Unfortunately, it didn't live up to its name, being filled only with neatly-trimmed grass instead of other lust-inducing items, as I had anticipated.

But at this point in the day, I was so hungry that I wouldn't even have cared if Lustgarten did live up to its name. I just wanted the damn tour to end already so that I could fill myself with whatever meat-product I could find. I began looking around for stuff that I could use to kill one of the smaller people on the tour with me, and eat them. But luckily, just as I had settled on using my Bic pen, Ben ended the tour and sent us on our way. Luckily for the short, Aussie guy standing beside me, that is.

On my way back to the hostel, I saw some Trabants in classic sky blue. I'd drive one if they sold them here. Check that out. Classy.

Back at the hostel

The night ended with me buying some snacks at a supermarket on Rosenthaler Strasse (to satisfy the midnight munchies) and stopping by the donner kebab place I went to last night again. The guy remembered me and my order from last night. Guess there aren't too many Orientals coming around these parts.

Then again, I found Qoo at the supermarket, so it can't be that barren of Asians here.

Man, this was a LONG day. Gonna write a few post cards and hit the sack.